Girls aren't Women

I hate being called a girl.  It's not cute, it's not friendly, it's not conversational.  It's condescending.  Whether it's intentional or not, it belittles.  I am a woman, not a girl.  Journalism style guides tell us that females under 18 are referred to as girls.  Over 18, it's women.  There.  That wasn't so hard.

I cringed when I got an email today that started like this: 

Girls,

     thanks for taking the time to meet yesterday!
    To review what we talked about.....

This was from the chair of a committee from school.  

I had a boss in New Mexico who called his office staff "his girls".  "Oh, let me get one of my girls to help you."  "Well, let me check with one of my girls."  He also had three little yappy dogs.  He referred to them as, you guessed it, his girls.   I was the only girl who minded.  The others thought it was fine, flattering even.  They would tell me I wouldn't mind being called a girl so much when I was older.   I was 25.  I was the youngest by a few years.  I used to yank their chains and say that I'd rather be called bitch than girl.  I thought that a bitch would be more likely to get respect than a girl.  I'm not sure that's true,  but now I'm 40, and I still don't like being called a girl.

Profanity is Funny

I am a reforming "cuss" addict.  When I worked in Insurance, cursing was an art form.  Way back in the day, right after college, my husband and I were friends with some Southerners who cursed so much, it ceased to take on meaning.  Since she was a real life Southern Debutante, she would sweeten it up so that "Butt Munch" was a term of endearment. 

I do love Deadwood.  If you haven't seen this HBO show, do yourself a favor and rent it.  (There are three seasons) It is wonderful.  Caveat Emptor:  it is gritty, excessively violent, graphically sexual, and "cocksucker" is said about every third word.  It's also beautifully written and acted, and the costumes and set are true art.  Needless to say, it's one of my all time favorite series.

So back to my reform status.  It just doesn't do for a Mom to curse.  Not in the car, not at her children, and not, unfortunately, to other Moms.  I was made aware that I wasn't doing my best to say things quietly when my son was three.  We were at a four way stop, the same four way stop that I have to sit at every day on the way to the school.   For some reason, grown up people still don't get the gist of a four way stop, and I tend to get frustrated at that.  So on one particular day, I had resolved to hold my temper.  I said, "This Bozo needs to just GO!"  My little precious in the backseat said, "Mommy, you are supposed to say, 'hurry up, Jackass'!" Tears of mirth streaming down my cheeks, I was nonetheless silenced for a solid month.  

So I do my best to hide the cussing into other words.  For example, instead of saying, "CHRIST!", I take on the Aussie, "CRIKEY"...or sometimes, the Snoop, "CRIZZLE!".  My personal favorite in lieu of "SHIT!", is "SHIITE MUSLIM!".  I have a million of these.  It's kind of my own little language game.  I'm sure that you have a few, too.  Please share.

Below are two videos, profanity related, that are hysterical.  They are "beeping" parodies, but you still may not want to have little ears and/or boss ears listening in... enjoy.

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Getting Started

This is a blog about my wanderings through the world of raising children, being a wife, a volunteer at school, a soccer mom (team manager), etc. in the heartland of the United States.  My story is like so many others, but I hope you will be amused and intrigued by reading this blog.  

I will touch on many topics here.  Some that are near and dear to me are:

 Baby Boomer Entitlement Grandparenting.  This is a subject that never ceases to amaze me.  Please share your story of baby boomers trying to horn in on every detail of your child's life.  Or my personal favorites, stories of getting "help" from these people.  Always with a price attached.

Women operating in Cliques.  Still.  Yes, I think that we will always be stunted by this phenomenon.  Girls do it, and Women do it.  I call this clique "The Northside Mafia".  In my own universe, these are the Catholics of the Northside of my city who all know each other.  In your universe, they are probably somebody else, but they are there.  They've always know each other.  They swam at the same pools, they played in the same sports leagues, they drank in the same secret spots, and somehow, they have all managed to marry each other and spawn offspring.  I married into this crew, and I'm on the outside looking in.

Parents behaving Badly.  I have a slew of these from my volunteering.  What people expect from the lowly room mother or soccer volunteer is truly staggering!

Okay, so it's not all bad.  Yes, there are some beautiful people in my world.  Most of the people who drive me completely bonkers are people I love deeply.   I know that some grandparents are amazing and are completely unselfish.  I know that there is great comfort in being around the same people you grew up with, and I know that Sports can be a great springboard to greatness in many a child's life.    But those stories aren't as fun.  I am just an armchair sociologist who is ever curious about human behavior.  Oh, and I'm a born smart-ass and somewhat cynical when it suits me.

Post what you will.  We have freedom of speech in this country and this blog.  Feel free to be profane but not obscene, and if you don't know the difference, please look it up.  Now, let's go!